The Beginning of the Complete Guide to Anal Play, Anal Training, and Anal Sex

Introduction To the Complete Guide to Anal Play, Anal training,and Anal sex
Anal Sex Advice: My Qualifications
A Few Words on Gender and Anal Sex, Giving, and Taking
Anal Sex Myths and Folklore
First Things First: Prepare Your fingers For Anal Sex

Introduction To the Complete Guide to Anal Play, Anal Training, and Anal Sex

Over the next year I’m going to write and post here a series of articles about successful anal sex, the art and science of anal training, and anal play of all types. The intention is to create a complete guide based upon the best of current day medical knowledge and practical experience of mutually pleasurable real anal sex.

Anal Sex Advice: My Qualifications

I’ve been writing about anal sex since 1999 when I first began writing articles for websites containing anal sex tips. And in the years since I have become as much of an expert on the subject, at least from the male perspective, as it is possible to be. I have my own personal experiences to draw from, and intimate conversations with my partners about their side of the experience. And I’ve been avidly collecting stories and personal details of anal sex adventures both good and bad from many hundreds of people, either respondents to the various Internet articles that I have written or people that have learned that I am an expert on this topic and you want to tell me their experiences or ask me questions.

I’ve spent many hours researching anal sex anal folklore and the medical aspects of anal sex and its problems and physiology. Many people don’t realize that there are huge free medical databases such as PubMed containing hundreds of thousands of articles about sex, sexual research and, and clinical reports from practicing physicians that contain a very complete picture of the real risks and issues of anal sex.


A Few Words on Gender and Anal Sex, Giving, and Taking

I happen to be a heterosexual male in my anal sex partners have been female. Throughout this guide I’m going to be writing with an assumption that the person receiving the anal sex is the female partner, and the person giving the anal sex is the male partner. However in the real world many other combinations are possible, and we will be discussing the here and there is the guide progresses.

Anal sex plays a profound role in the gay male culture and communities, although I’ve often been surprised by how common it is to find gay men who do not yet practice anal sex, and are very interested in learning more about it, or who have had bad experiences and traumas that they are still working at overcoming. I can only hope that gay men will at least find this guide interesting and can perhaps occasionally get insights or useful practices and attitudes from it. (The most experienced in the gay community arguably know more about anal sex than I ever will, and I’d be very interested to hear their thoughts and to hear of their experiences.)

Anal play can often be part of the lesbian and female bisexual sexual experience. No we are not talking about the types of profit-driven fantasies seen in porn videos. (It’s a shame that I even have to insert that disclaimer.) But, lesbian sexual culture has a natural focus on the hands, fingers, and mouth in the sensual and erotic possibilities of a woman’s body so obviously they will they would’ve discovered the extreme sensitivity of the innocent rectum just how wonderfully it responds to hands fingers and mouth.

And finally there’s been in the past few decades a huge expansion of interest in female on male anal sex, typically involving dildos and strap on penises (commonly known as pegging), and also female on male penetration with fingers and female on male oral-anal stimulation with the mouth and tongue (that is, rimming or eating ass).


We will look at all of these things, but for now simply remember that I am going to be writing as if the receiving partner was female and the penetrating partner male. You should adjust the genders as you need to in order to match your own circumstances.


Anal Sex Myths and Folklore

Very probably because anal sex is associated with the gay community, and has long been taboo, there’s a huge amount of urban folklore that is associated with it. This urban folklore is often reported as if it were unquestionably true, even on otherwise quite serious and thorough journalistic sources or in magazines that one would expect would be more thorough in their fact checking. And a great deal of this urban folklore is completely baseless nonsense, as a few minutes checking PUBMED and some basic common Sense, would quickly make clear.

We will often be looking at this urban folklore since it is very much connected to the medical reality of anal’s medical reality of anal sex as we go along. Unlike those prestigious magazines which get it wrong, I’m not going to expect you to take my word for it. I’m going to show you why there urban folklore is not true or in a few rare cases true.


Because it doesn’t help anyone to spread untruths, or to have bad information about something that is becoming more and more part of normal sexual life.


First Things First: Prepare Your Fingers for Anal Sex


I began this article by writing about my qualifications, my point of view, and a special statement about the folklore of anal sex and my attitude towards it.


I did this so that you can have at least a degree of confidence that I’m not just writing this stuff off the top of my head or by stealing information from other writers. I’m not going to just repeat folklore or tell you the same old thing that has been said in hundreds of other sources before. This is going to be very real information from actual experience and many years of research and counseling


Let me give you an example.


Where do you think that the complete guide to anal play in anal sex should start?

Probably most people would mention something like use a lot of lube or go slow, or something of that sort things that we have. Things that we have seen many times in men’s and women’s magazines or on the various websites devoted to sex or romance.


Those are not the places to start.


The place to start talking about anal sex, or rather the two places, are the hands or more specifically the fingers and fingertips, and the mindset, the thoughts and feelings of the person who is going to be anally penetrated.


What is the first thing that you are going to be putting in your lovely partners lovely behind?


If you know what you are doing, it is going to be your fingertips and fingers. If your first thought was “my cock” or “a butt plug”, then you in particular need to take to heart the thought that the thought and understanding that it’s your fingertips that are the key to her anal pleasure and willingness to do more.


The fingers and fingertips are the keys to her bottom, and the beginning of every good anal sex experience, and the secret to giving her the kind of special anal pleasure, and anal orgasms, that will bond her to you in that intensely intimate way that only amazing anal sex can make possible.

This is the First Universal Law of Good Anal Sex: Always groom and prepare your fingers and fingertips.

Use a good clippers to trim your nails as short and close as possible, and round them carefully. Then use emery boards or something equivalent to grind off any sharp edges. Do this on all fingers and your thumbs because you never know what you might want to do, or where you might be positioned.

Then wash your hands carefully, and clean under your fingernails if necessary. Scrub. You want to be very clean.

Now, the secret trick. Use fine grade wet-dry sandpaper, 400 grit or 600 grit, to sand smooth your nails, cuticles, and the skin of your fingertips. The easiest way to do this is to lay a sheet down on a desk or tabletop, and drag your fingertips back and forth across the sheet. Pay special attention to the places where sharp edges can hide, the sides of your fingernails and the cuticles. Then take a small piece of the sandpaper and use it on those same areas of possible sharpness again.

Test the way your fingertips feel. You should notice that they are much smoother than before. They will also be covered with fine dust from the sanding, so wash again. Then as a final touch, put on a small amount of an unscented hand lotion, which keeps everything soft.

Put a small piece of the sandpaper in your pocket, in case you notice something sharp you missed.

Fingers prepared like this are ready to touch and enter her anywhere, and she will love that you went to that trouble for her when she notices it. Women are much more aware of the roughness and sharp edges of your fingers than you realize.

And they are particularly ready to push into your partner’s anus, whether lubed by spoit and her juices, or with good lubes.

So, remember the first law of good anal experience is, groom and prepare your fingers!

The next article will discuss the mindset of the person being penetrated, and how you can affect her mindset, her thoughts and her emotions, to get her ready for anal, wanting it, and wanting you to give her the anal experience she imagines and hopes for but often does not get.

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